I am figuring out that it’s challenging to stick to a routine when nothing is routine at all. I think my boys feel the same way as I do—case in point. I am pretty sure they thought they’d be getting out of school today. I noticed when I got back from my morning walk that they were dressed and getting all packed up to go to the park. When I told them we needed to do our math first, they were less than happy with me. I get it. We always plan our vacation days around Tim’s schedule. When he’s off, we’re off, except, not right now. I am glad today’s Friday. Read More →

My husband has worked in the travel industry for almost 20 years. Together, we weathered the catastrophe of 911 when travel came to a screeching halt. I’ll never forget the day the planes crashed into the Twin Towers. At the time, Justin and Sarah were watching Sesame Street; a friend called and said, “Missy, turn on the news.” Like everyone else in America, I was stunned. I frantically called Tim at work. He was inundated with travelers desperately trying to get home to their families. It was a frightening time for all of us; we had no idea what might be coming next. Soon, noRead More →

An Unlikely Combination Since the beginning of November, the act of having a thankful heart has been at the forefront of my mind. I have pondered and wrestled through some deep waters trying to figure out how to change the trajectory of my less-than-thankful heart. Circumstantially, day to day life is complicated. We are almost 16 months out from losing Justin and every day presents a new normal. Waves of grief come crashing in with little to no warning.  One moment I am laughing and the next second a dark cloud of sadness makes an unplanned visit.  My heart aches as I witness my childrenRead More →

ON THE LEFT: I was overwhelmed and filled with shame. Getting healthy felt unattainable. One morning, alone in my bathroom, I cried out to God, “Please help me, this feels hopeless!”. I was in the pit of despair and couldn’t see a way out. A few days later, our Justin sat me down for what would be a life-changing conversation asking me to get healthy. I agreed and wholeheartedly set out on my pilgrimage. ON THE RIGHT: F R E E I am learning what walking in freedom looks like on a daily basis. I am more broken than I have ever been, but God,Read More →

Our bedroom has a revolving door most mornings; today was no exception. Joshua, our youngest, climbed into bed with us after a middle of the night potty accident. He gives the sweetest wake-up calls, usually greeting me with a hug around the neck and multiple kisses; first my cheeks and then two more, one for each closed eye. He finally makes his way out of our bed, and I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear his little feet padding down the stairs to see his Daddy. Moments later, again the door opens, and I spy our sleepy-eyed Sammy boy, he’s nine-years-old, and aRead More →

Again, seeing the American flag-man, I walked over to his table. When I looked into his eyes, I was overcome with emotion. I began to thank him for his service but unexpectedly through tears, I told him what a patriot our Justin was. In my mind’s eye, I envisioned all the American flags hanging on the wall of his bedroom. Read More →

Since the early days after the accident, I have sensed a certain sacredness in grief. With the most vulnerable part of my heart exposed, I could only cry out to the Lord in my brokenness. It was laughable to consider anything else being even remotely comforting. As the days and weeks have turned into months, the temptation for distraction is enticing. I am learning that it is of utmost importance to allow myself to sit in the waves of grief as they come; avoiding and postponing the ache is futile. In my lament, my heart is drawn to the great Comforter enabling me to clingRead More →

It was a few weeks after the accident and our pastor came to our home to spend some time with us. My mind was grappling for answers and our lives were in a whirlwind of chaos. Luke sat with Tim and I for several hours as we shared our hurt, pain, and confusion. I remember pulling out my Bible and opening to one of my beloved passages of Scripture from Psalm 91:14-16: Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When He calls to me I will answer him; I will beRead More →