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The Time I Didn’t Wait (CV Lay-off Week:10

Last week, we found out that Tim’s furlough was extended again, this time, until July 31st. Naturally, we wonder how many more extensions are in our future and what that looks like for our family. 

Psalm 27:14 is such a word to remember in the waiting. It says, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD.” 

Often times, when we think about the word, wait, we might get the idea that it’s a passive act. On the contrary, when we wait upon the Lord, it is an action. The Hebrew definition for wait means: to look for, hope, expect. When we wait for the Lord, we place our confidence in Him with hopeful expectation.

The time I didn’t wait

Last year, I wrote about a time that I didn’t wait on the Lord. Summer was quickly approaching; our daughter, Sarah, was away working at a camp for the season, and Justin was a few weeks launching out on his own. Tim’s new position at work would require some travel, and it would be me at home with our three youngest boys. I decided that I needed to do something for myself. 

I thought, why not start a furniture business? So, I began acquiring great vintage pieces to paint and market. I jumped in with both feet, and soon our garage was filled with treasures. But, every time I prayed about it, I sensed the Lord saying, “No, wait.” Still, I continued to paint and collect more pieces. I prayed about it again, and I received the same response, “No, wait.” 

Well, one morning, I woke up and said to myself, “What am I waiting for? Maybe God didn’t say no; I probably heard Him wrong.” That day, I created my Facebook business page, took countless pictures, and began listing my furniture. I was pleased with myself.

Friend, the VERY next day, we lost Justin. 

God said, “No, wait.” for a reason. He knew what I would be facing, and a furniture business would not at all fit into my journey. 

I share this story because lately, when my anxiety peaks, I’ve found myself thinking, “Hmm, maybe I need to start a side-hustle.” But, I learned a valuable lesson with my short-lived furniture business; no matter how bad I want to feel in control, it is always better to wait on the Lord. If He tells me to start a new business, now that’s a whole different story, isn’t it? 

So, for now, I wait upon Him.

You might be asking, what does waiting look like? How do we wait upon the Lord? Psalm 37:5 gives us some great insight on the matter. It says, “Commit your ways to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.”

The word commit means- to roll, to roll away, roll down. 

Do you see it? It’s a similar picture of 1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all our anxieties upon the Lord because he cares for you.” In our waiting, we are pushing, rolling all of the cares, questions, and concerns upon the Lord as we wait upon Him to act. Indeed, there is nothing passive about waiting. 

If you are in a season of waiting like me, set your gaze on Jesus, Friend. Take courage in the wait, stand firm with confidence; the Lord is faithful, and He will bring His plans to fruition. 

Until tomorrow,


Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD.        Psalm 27:14

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An Update CV Lay-Off Day: 33

Today, we got word that Tim’s company extended his furlough. Initially, their goal was to bring everyone back on May 14th; now, they are hoping for June 30th. The travel industry has taken a hard hit, so this turn of events is not shocking. Even still, it is not the news we were hoping to receive.

For the last few days, I have been camping out in Ephesians 6:10-20. Today, verse 10 especially caught my attention.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.”

I like what my ESV note has to say about vs. 10: “Because Christians cannot stand on their own against superhuman powers, they must rely on the strength of the Lord’s own might, which he supplies chiefly through prayer.” 

Would you know that I woke up feeling extremely vulnerable? I had 10,000 thoughts coursing through my mind before I got my first sip of coffee, and that’s just not right. On my walk this morning, I knew it was going to be a Psalm 91 kind of day, and immediately pulled it up on my audio Bible app and played it on repeat.

And you know what I realized? Psalm 91 and Ephesians 6 pair together beautifully. Read those two back to back, and you’ll see just what I mean. I might add, all of this happened before I knew about Tim’s employment situation.

In this, I see the hand of God; He was so kind as to prepare my mind to take refuge in Him and prompt me to pray. Since I have my boys at home, my prayers are often short sentences scattered throughout the day, but God hears every one of them.

I will add, for a good part of the morning, I waited to feel strengthened. But, sometimes, God’s strength does not become evident until you are square in the middle of the storm.  I don’t have any more answers than I did yesterday, but nevertheless, my heart is settled with His peace. And for that, I am thankful.

Until tomorrow,


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Quarantined Easter CV Lay-Off Day: 24

Tomorrow is Easter, and like most everyone else in America, we won’t be gathering together with our church family.

Since COVID-19, we’ve tried as a family to preserve our Sunday mornings for a time of worship. Although I don’t make the boys wear their Sunday clothes, I do get myself put together, and then we all meet in the living room. Our church sends out the bulletin ahead of time, and Tim prints them for us to follow along. Together, we read through the liturgy, and then, watch our pastor’s sermon on Youtube.

As we listen to the sermon, the two youngest boys become restless just like they do on a typical Sunday morning at church. I give them crayons and paper, and promise that they can enjoy Sarah’s homemade delicacies as soon as the sermon ends-that usually sees them through.

It is not at all the same as gathering together under one building. I miss lifting our voices as one in songs of worship. I miss joyfully partaking of communion and then feasting together on the Word of God.  Nevertheless, I am very thankful for the refreshment the Spirit provides.

Since losing Justin, my extroverted self has become more of an introvert. I’m not sure all of the ins and outs of that transformation, except that I have very much come to appreciate solitude. With that said, I dearly long to be gathered together with the Body in our beautiful sanctuary where the sunbeams shine brilliantly through the windows. I yearn to hear the warm chatter of the saints who are happy to be in the house of the Lord joyfully breaking bread and worshipping together.

For me, the weeks are long. We live in a small rural town, and sometimes it feels like we’re in the middle of nowhere. But, on Sunday mornings, when we gather together as a Body, my family and I are known, and it reminds us that we are not alone.

Tomorrow, we’ll make the best of it, and the six of us will gather once again in our living room and celebrate our risen Savior. I sure am eager for the day when we’ll gather together again as one.

Until then, I will leave you with this blessing that we receive from our pastor each Sunday,

The Lord bless you and keep you;
 the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
 the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

Until tomorrow,



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Expectant Waiting: CV Lay-Off Day: 19

Around the nine-month mark, after Tim and I started dating, it became apparent that I was one lovesick girl. Each night, after he dropped me off at my apartment, I would go to my bedroom, lay on my bed, and cry my eyes out. I hated for him to leave, and I could hardly wait to see him again. I know it sounds dramatic, but I was head over heels. Each night, I poured out my heart to the Lord, saying, “Lord, I just want to marry that man.”

That’s when I discovered Lord Psalm 40:1, “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.”  I took that Scripture as my own and held on to it until our union was complete on January 14, 1995. 

Many years down the road, I would learn a different kind of waiting. When we lost our dear Justin, I learned what it meant to wait for the Lord’s comfort. Up until that point, I’d spent the majority of my Christian life soothing my inner turmoil myself. I usually went for the instant gratification to escape the pain of suffering. My typical (and destructive) go-to was food. But, all of that changed when I made a promise to Justin only six days before he would die. 

Now, I faced the deepest pain of my life, and food was no longer an option for my coping mechanism. At first, when fresh waves of grief poured in, I’d find myself standing in front of the pantry looking for something, anything to soothe my ache. It was there, in the throes of grief, that the Lord revealed the unbelief in my heart. When all was said and done, I wasn’t sure if the Lord would come and deliver me from my pain. What if I waited for Him, and He really didn’t care? Would He alleviate my suffering? 

I needn’t have worried; because every single time, the Lord faithfully revealed Himself to me and sustained me with His presence. 

Slowly, I learned to walk away from the kitchen (with my flesh screaming) and head for my Bible. His Word was/is the sweetest healing balm that I have ever tasted; in it, He comforted me, corrected me, and refreshed my weary soul. 

Today, amid COVID-19 and my husband’s lay-off, again, I wait for the Lord. I wait for His wisdom, provision, and His tender care. I am confident that the Lord will not withhold Himself from His children. 

One day, we will testify of His goodness together and say, “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.”

Until tomorrow,