All of the unemployment paperwork arrived in the mail today. Things just got real. As I read over the affidavits, my mind got a little fuzzy while the rest of my body felt like I was carrying a fifty-pound weight.
I don’t feel worried or panicked. But, I do feel the gravity of our situation.
At my previous doctor’s visit, I teared up when he asked me if I currently had a lot of stress in my life. For the last year, we’ve been working on getting my body functioning more efficiently. He asked because, at my most recent check-up (before Tim’s lay-off), some of my numbers came back a little out of wack. I was disappointed because I’ve been making significant progress. It was a good question. I know that the majority of my stress is rooted in our loss of Justin. I also know that there’s no easy fix for that kind of strain.
While I can’t change my circumstances, there are a few things I’ve learned over the last two and a half years to help me deal with stress.
- In the morning, I love to take walks by myself. It’s a time for me to pray, listen to the Scripture, and set my mind for the day.
- I found it’s important for me to drink a lot of water. When I am hydrated, I am energized and my brain functions with more clarity.
- I eat ten servings of fruit and vegetables a day. Okay, just kidding, but wouldn’t that be awesome?
- I write. I wrote my first poem when I was ten years old, and I’ve been writing ever since. I keep a journal, I write on social media, and of course, here on the blog. Writing has played a vital role in my healing journey.
- I sing. Oh, how I love to sing! On most mornings, if I am quiet enough to hear it, I wake with a song of praise playing through my mind. The song that keeps coming back over the last week is the old (and beautiful) hymn, “Be Still my Soul.” Oh, what a treasured word of truth. Tonight, I thought I’d leave you with her lyrics. I pray it’s as much a healing balm to your soul as it is to mine.
Be Still my Soul
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end
And all is darkened in the vale of tears
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears
Be still my soul the waves and winds shall know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment grief and fear are gone
Sorrow forgot love’s purest joys restored
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last