I have found that going to the grocery store is one of the most difficult of my tasks to complete. I try to prepare myself as I drive down the familiar road and listen to encouraging songs on the radio. I pull into a parking spot and pause. Oh Lord, please help me. Help me to see someone else through your eyes today. I think to myself, maybe if I can just take my eyes off of me, it won’t hurt so bad.
Out I go, I walk through the parking lot trying to collect my thoughts and secure a buggy. I walk through the automatic doors and am immediately greeted by flowers. I love the flowers but I don’t buy any because we are on a spending freeze. Next, it’s the produce and I can already feel the lump forming in my throat. As I select my fruit and veggies I work to swallow the lump and breath deeply. I know what’s coming. I walk by the “Naked Juice” and just about lose it. Justin loved that juice and it was his special thing that I occasionally buy for him. At this point, you may be thinking, just let yourself cry! In the grocery store, no thank you!
I look around slowly and take note of all the people walking around and wonder if they have just lost someone very special too? What is their story; could they be in the middle of a serious illness? Can they see the grief and sorrow on my face? I hurriedly try and complete my shopping forgetting that I was going to try and smile at someone today.
Soon my shopping trip comes to an end as I exchange benign pleasantries with the cashier. I walk back to my car and wonder if the thick cloud of grief is visible for all to see. I am told that this task will get easier with time, I am counting on that.
Hoping in His unfailing love,