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It was an early Sunday morning when we were awakened by the doorbell ringing. Tim went down and answered the door, both of us were thinking that Justin must have locked himself out of the house. I stood at the top of the stairs waiting to hear his voice; instead, what I heard was Tim inviting the Sherriff’s deputies inside our home. As the unthinkable news of Justin’s death reached our ears, our three little boys made their way down the stairs, still in their cozy jammies with sleep in their eyes. While the deputies were talking to us, I kept trying to smile throughRead More →

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I have found that going to the grocery store is one of the most difficult of my tasks to complete. I try to prepare myself as I drive down the familiar road and listen to encouraging songs on the radio. I pull into a parking spot and pause. Oh Lord, please help me. Help me to see someone else through your eyes today. I think to myself, maybe if I can just take my eyes off of me, it won’t hurt so bad. Out I go, I walk through the parking lot trying to collect my thoughts and secure a buggy. I walk through theRead More →

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I was in despair. My weight was completely out of control and I had no idea how in the world I was going to climb out of a very deep pit. My body physically hurt, I was exhausted, and very discouraged. One morning, I woke up feeling hopeless. I poured my heart out to the Lord and said something like. “Oh Lord, please help me, I am so stuck. I have no idea how I am ever going to change this. I have so much weight to lose. I wish someone would help me. Please help me, Lord.” Just a few days later, our sonRead More →

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Today, I opened my journal to its first entry dated April 3, 2017. It read, “But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. (Isaiah 64:8) Please help me to trust you when I don’t see or understand your plans.” I had no way of knowing or even anticipating the loss of Justin. Yet, the Lord in his kindness was preparing my heart to trust him in such a time as this. For several years, I have been quite taken that the Lord reigns sovereign over all. I haveRead More →

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Life can change in the blink of an eye. One minute I was telling Justin to be careful and that I loved him. The next minute (or hours later) we were being awakened by the sheriff’s office telling us something no parent ever dreams of hearing, our dear Justin was gone. As anyone can imagine, there was wailing, weeping, and pure disbelief. In those early days, we walked about in a fog. Dear family and precious friends began pouring in from all over the country to be with us in our great time of need. We were surrounded by loved ones, did they ever loveRead More →