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Grief & Thankfulness

Grief & Thankfulness

An Unlikely Combination Since the beginning of November, the act of having a thankful heart has been at the forefront of my mind. I have pondered and wrestled through some deep waters trying to figure out how to change the trajectory of my less-than-thankful heart. […]

From Shame to Freedom

From Shame to Freedom

ON THE LEFT: I was overwhelmed and filled with shame. Getting healthy felt unattainable. One morning, alone in my bathroom, I cried out to God, “Please help me, this feels hopeless!”. I was in the pit of despair and couldn’t see a way out. A […]

Walking Through Grief

Walking Through Grief

Our bedroom has a revolving door most mornings; today was no exception. Joshua, our youngest, climbed into bed with us after a middle of the night potty accident. He gives the sweetest wake-up calls, usually greeting me with a hug around the neck and multiple […]

Trusting God with Our Pain in Grief

Trusting God with Our Pain in Grief

I wanted to run and hide to ease the pain somehow, I was weary and heavy-hearted. A fresh wave of grief came crashing in, and my mind was racing with a hundred different thoughts all at once. I pulled out my journal and wrote; “O’ Lord, I spent 20-years nurturing, training, loving, and guiding Justin. Now, he’s just gone. Lord, I ask you, O’ God, to take this ache from me, I run into Your arms, and I lay the pain of this loss and my heavy heart at your feet. You are the bread of life, the living water. Please come and fill this grief-the hollowness in my heart, with you and your goodness.”

The Kindness of a Stranger

The Kindness of a Stranger

Again, seeing the American flag-man, I walked over to his table. When I looked into his eyes, I was overcome with emotion. I began to thank him for his service but unexpectedly through tears, I told him what a patriot our Justin was. In my mind’s eye, I envisioned all the American flags hanging on the wall of his bedroom.

Beauty in Our Brokenness

Beauty in Our Brokenness

Since the early days after the accident, I have sensed a certain sacredness in grief. With the most vulnerable part of my heart exposed, I could only cry out to the Lord in my brokenness. It was laughable to consider anything else being even remotely […]

The Winding and Troubled Road of Transformation

The Winding and Troubled Road of Transformation

Journal Entry 10-31-2016…..my weight gain has been one of the worst consequences of lacking self-control. Physically, my body is maxed out. It hurts to sit, there’s too much weight on my tailbone. It’s hard to get comfortable, there’s just too much

Trusting God in Suffering

Trusting God in Suffering

It was a few weeks after the accident and our pastor came to our home to spend some time with us. My mind was grappling for answers and our lives were in a whirlwind of chaos. Luke sat with Tim and I for several hours […]

There Will be a Day

There Will be a Day

Nothing prepares you for your child’s death until you are walking in that very reality. For nine months, I have struggled to adjust to Justin’s absence. In this journey of grief, sometimes it’s the simple things that are the most difficult to bear. I look at his empty chair that sits at our dinner table a

Cultivating a Heart of Wisdom

Cultivating a Heart of Wisdom

When Justin was ten-years-old, and Sarah was eight-years-old, my husband began talking to me about the idea of homeschooling, I was not at all interested. At the time, it felt like such a radical move. In deepest recesses of my heart, I felt completely inadequate for the tas


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